When deciding on a URL I typed in “born to be a mother” as this phrase really helped me in the weeks leading up to the birth of our first child as well as throughout my labour. I’m not sure where I got it from. I would, however, like to think that all the NCT relaxation classes I went to in my final trimester helped me to be more free spirited and it came from one of those meditation sessions where I’m sitting on the beach near Nant Gwrtheyrn after a refreshing lesson at the Trodden Path… yes, this is the place I remember when asked to find a safe place to relax.
On reflection, I suppose I needed to believe I was born to be a mother in order to deliver our child safely and happily into this world and even now, when I’m struggling, I remember this phrase and thank God He’s given me the opportunity to stretch myself further.
Most of the Pakistani elders I have met and heard advice from have a common statement:
Raising a baby isn’t easy!
Truth is, being a mother isn’t easy. Personally, I can only speak for the first 9 months so far but it is really difficult, tiring and such an emotional journey whereby the little things like washing your hair twice with shampoo becomes a luxury and can make you cry on a good day!
I’ve never claimed and won’t claim being a mother is easy. God created women with a womb – a connection of mercy – and with giving mercy comes great self sacrifice. However, let’s look back at the common statement I hear from these elders “Raising a baby isn’t easy!” … and there’s the first argument and the first lesson/understanding/reflection of motherhood that I gained:
Who is raising this gift from God?
Everyone will have a different answer in accordance with their understanding and belief system. My own answer is summed up nicely in a TED talk by Elizabeth Gilbert called “A different way to think about creative genius“. It’s worth listening to and I hope in doing so you will understand why I feel raising a baby can be easy but being a mother, simply, isn’t.
May Allah allow us to be better mothers with every breath He grants us; and may He grant our children righteous character. Ameen.